April 2011
56 posts
Sometimes we have to make choices and sometimes they affect a lot more than we ever knew they would. My choice is being with that boy for the past 8 months of my life (whatever you want to define “with” as) was one of the most influential things I could’ve done. Just think about it. It changed how much sleep I got at night, how many people I talked to, how I acted at parties, how...
Seriously, I have the best best friend in the world. I have 3 best friends back home but the one I’m talking about is my best friend at JMU, Annemarie. She knew that boy was going to the prom tomorrow with another girl and she told me she’d wrote on her calendar to text me and spend time with me because she knew I’d be a mess.
Why are people so wonderful sometimes?
Makes me so...
Why am I so pathetic? I haven’t texted him, it’s fine. I just think about him a lot. It’s less of an “I want to text him so badly” and more of an “I miss being updated on his life,” but I don’t really need to be updated on every aspect of every second of his life. It’ll be fine. I just have to keep trudging along and eventually I know...
I’M FINE.
The Missing Piece Meets the Big O - Shel...
http://www.osorhan.com/bigo/index.php
The Missing Piece Meets the Big O
The missing piece sat alone
Waiting for someone to come along and take it somewhere.
Some fit…
But could not roll.
Others could roll but did not fit.
One didn’t know a thing about fitting.
And another didn’t know a thing about anything.
One was too delicate.
Pop!
One put it on a pedestal…
And left it there.
Some had...
Today has been pretty good. It’s the first day in my step to getting over that boy :) I’m really excited. Like, I am. I can’t wait to look back and see how much I grow.
Everytime I think about him and want to text him I’ve been praying instead. Let me tell you, I’ve done a lot of praying today. And they’re not like horrible drawn out prayers that you’d...
Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne
“Lets talk this over It’s not like we’re dead Was it something I did? Was it something you said? Don’t leave me hanging In a city so dead Held up so high On such a breakable thread You were all the things I thought I knew And I thought we could be You were everything, everything That I wanted We were meant to be, supposed to be But we lost it All of our memories so close to...
Choices
So I did it. I told him that I don’t think we should text anymore because I want to grow closer to God and I can’t do that while I’m dependent on him. His response? “Aight.” I was like, oh good. 8 months of my life and all you can muster up is “Aight.” DSLKJFALKSDJFASDLFKJ. I shouldn’t be surprised at all and I’m not surprised at all. Whatever,...
Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri
“I know I can’t take one more step towards you
Cause all that’s waiting is regret And don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore? You lost the love I loved the most And I learned to live, half-alive And now you want me one more time Who do you think you are? Runnin’ round leaving scars Collecting your jar of hearts And tearing love apart You’re...
Well we’ve now taken it to an even farther level. Ain’t that grand.
I’m so angry with myself. You’d think I would have figured out by now that no matter what I do I’m going to mad at myself when it involves that boy. Ugh. UGH. I’m not as concerned as I normally am, which is nice. But I’m still just upset with myself. I stuck to what I said for quite a...
Pearl - Katy Perry
“She is a pyramid
But with him she’s just a grain of sand
This loves too strong like mice and men
Squeezing out the life that should be let in
She was a hurricane
But now she’s just a gust of wind
She used to set the sails of a thousand ships
Was a force to be reckoned with
She could be a statue of liberty
She could be Joan of Arc
But he’s scared of the light that’s...
Happy Easter!
Just think of the millions and billions and trillions of ways God loves us
Goodbye Kiss - Grace Potter & The Nocturnals
“I lost a piece of my mind and you can see it on my face my heart is burning this time but there ain’t no fire escape That little part of me that used to be so strong, is stumbling over now that I know you’re moving on baby You were never gonna wait for me babe I really hate to say it, but I’m gonna say it anyway You, you know you’re not the only one ...
So I’m going to post this on here in the hopes of following through with it. We’ve started one of those stupid skype relationships again. And it’s starting to move back to texting too. And I’m. Not. Doing. It.
I am telling him tonight that I’m not skyping with him anymore. If, BIG IF, anything is ever to happen between us ever again it will be spur of the moment and...
My feelings
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...
Wamp buh-damp bamp buh-damp.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I have the usual case of the WTF’s. Had a very long skype conversation with that boy last night. About 2 hours and 45 minutes and it felt like…5 minutes. Like we were just laughing and talking the whole time. It was really nice. Granted, slightly retarded because it still aggravates me that we don’t talk out...
The Chain - Ingrid Michaelson
“The sky looks pissed The wind talks back My bones are shifting in my skin And you my love are gone My room seems wrong The bed won’t fit I cannot seem to operate And you my love are gone So glide away on soapy heels And promise not to promise anymore And if you come around again Then I will take, then I will take the chain from off the door I’ll never say I’ll never love...
K: Tell me stuff
P: Been a month since march 18th as of tomorrow :P
K: Hows it goin
P: Haha you tell me
K: I mean you haven’t lost all morals like most
P: Wait what?
K: Any girl i’ve chatted with has apparently thrown there morals away after
*side note - that boy has no english skills whatsoever and I’m not correcting them. I’m leaving them as horrible as they are...
Going to Busch Gardens to surprise one of my best friends today.
It’s gonna be a great day :)
So I’m going to type a very long tumblr post in order to keep myself from texting that boy. I just really want to. I’m watching The Time Traveler’s Wife and I want someone in my life. This always happens to me. Literally, always. Whenever I watch movies about love, I want to be in love. Who would have guessed it, ya know? I was scrolling through old texts from that boy just...
Die Alone - Ingrid Michaelson
“I woke up this morning with a funny taste in my head.
Spackled some butter over my whole grain bread. Something tastes different, maybe it’s my tongue. Something tastes different, suddenly I’m not so young. I’m just a stranger, even to myself. A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf. Don’t be a fool girl, tell him you love him. Don’t be a fool girl,...
SO APPARENTLY
He has written me a letter. I’ve written him two letters since we’ve been at college (and in general, but just sayin’) and the first one was super sweet and all that garbage because I sent it a long time ago and then the second one I just sent recently and it was just because he’s been going through some hard times and I was being sweet and encouraging and it was all in...
So I think I beat up Natalie Portman in my dream last night?
Is that weird?
Hahahaha
Like it was that freaky point when she’s the scary black swan with the red eye makeup (I think there’s red in the eye makeup, I dunno) and I like roundhouse kicked her and everytime I looked up, she was there. It was like the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me.
Sike. That dream did...
I’m actually starting to feel healthy again! Huzzah!
And I haven’t talked to that boy for two days now. No intentions to speak to him, which is nice.
I had a peanut butter sandwich for dinner. I finally cleaned me room. I took a shower. I slept for 18 hours today. I don’t feel like hurling myself off a cliff anymore.
Overall, it’s been grand!
Cold As You - Taylor Swift
“You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me So I start a fight cause I need to feel something And you do what you want cause I’m not what you wanted Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say And now that I’m sitting here thinking it through I’ve...
You know you have problems when you want someone to text you just so you can NOT respond
Blinding - Florence & The Machine
“Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber Until I realise that it was you who held me under Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was...
Feelings that I’m perfectly okay with having?
I’m perfectly fine with feeling like I’m not even slightly interested in him anymore. He thinks he’s some miracle worker because he can make me smile but I’ve tried to tell him a thousand times that anyone can make me smile. I smile at everything and I laugh at everything. I’m a pretty genuinely happy person,...
Love The Way You Lie Part II (Piano) - Rihanna
“On the first page of our story The future seemed so bright Then this thing turned out so evil I don’t know why I’m still surprised Even angels have their wicked schemes And you take that to new extremes But you’ll always be my hero Even though you’ve lost your mind Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts...
I feel like death.
I skyped with that boy for a little while last night. I talked to him on the phone for like half and hour and then we skyped for about 2 hours. Just about how unfortunate his life is. Oh wah wah wah. Pity him. That’s basically all we ever talk about. Ha.
And I kept telling myself “We’re friends. We’re allowed to be friends” and we are. Maybe that...
Scheduling shmeduling
Monday, Wednesday, Friday - Elementary Statistics 9:05 to 9:55
Stage Management 10:10 to 11:00
French 11:15 to 12:05
Theatre History 1:25 to 2:15
Tuesday, Thursday -
Visual Aspects 9:30 - 10:45
Contemporary Family 2:00 - 3:15
+ either a management or a scenery practicum
19 credits, anyone?
I told my sister what I was planning on taking next semester and she said, “What, are you...
“If you’re considering giving up on someone, you probably already have”
That boy didn’t text me all weekend long, literally. He stopped texting me at 11:00 pm on Friday night and I wasn’t about to text him first. I’ve been fine with it. I’ve been thinking about him a lot but that’s really no surprise. I was worried about the funeral and praying for him and his family. I’m getting better at being without him! Yeeee!
Anyway, so...
I DON’T FEEL LIKE FEELING ANYTHING ANYMORE.
I have 4 weekends left in this school year. And then it’s summer break and I’m just going to relax. I don’t really want to talk to anyone at all. Is that sad? Probably.
Do I care? No.
I just want to dress up in pretty clothes and have my picture taken a lot. Is that selfish? Probably.
My life is SO cyclical.
My freshman year of high school, I auditioned for every show under the sun but didn’t get anything. I didn’t give up though (I have no idea why. I didn’t know I was that determined) and at the end of the year I was cast in the children’s theatre show. Then I started getting bigger and bigger parts until my senior year when I got leads in both the...
The News - Jack Johnson
“A billion people died on the news tonight But not so many cried at the terrible sight Well mama said It’s just make believe You can’t believe everything you see So baby close your eyes to the lullabies On the news tonight Who’s the one to decide that it would be alright To put the music behind the news tonight Well mama said You can’t believe everything you...
That one time when you write a really FANTASTIC post on tumblr and then it disappears right when you click post.
Yeah, that just happened.
But to summarize, God loves me and has great plans for my future. I will find someone out there who has gone through things just like I have that have made them stronger and when we do find each other, we’ll be emotionally ready for what we’ll...
I am eating chocolate chip mini muffins and chex mix, drinking a sprite, and watching Elf with me roommate. Life is good? Thaaaaaas riiiiiiiiight.
PLAYSHOP
AHHHHHHHH! I’M FULL COMPANY FOR PLAYSHOP NOW! I GET $2000! I’M SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO...
Movies that are surprisingly good
The Kite Runner
But read the book first.
Today is a good day in my quest to get over that boy. I talked to him for just a little while yesterday and I don’t actually enjoy talking to him anymore. That’s definitely a step in the right direction. He didn’t text me all day on Monday but I looked on my facebook and he’d sent me like 917 messages (interesting, to say the least). In my head I was convinced he...
:{)
“Mustaches are legit. If you can’t grow a mustache, make sure your personality has a mustache.”
Be OK - Ingrid Michaelson
“I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok I just want to be ok today I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok I just want to be ok today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today I just want to feel something today I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today I just want to feel something today
CHORUS Open me up and you will see I’m a gallery of broken hearts I’m beyond repair, let me...
